I cant think of anymore titles

I saw him today, and unlike last Wednesday we actually talked about something. so maybe i should back up and explain a bit... or i could do cliff notes. Yep cliff notes version it is. last Wednesday we met up and walked around in circles for about an hour and a half and never discussed anything of substance, we actually chatted about the weather.  Considering we have known each other and have dated off and on for ten years one would think at the dissolution of this relationship, the conversation would focus on some thing with a bit more meat than the weather. i will say that even though we didn't talk about much his presence made me feel better. so fast forward through the week and weekend from hell, if you don't know what I'm talking about read back through my super emo Saturday posts, yes it was all me no one did anything to me. so now it is Monday, we emailed a bit during the previous week to have a 'real' talk and since my day off was Monday we set it up. I was a little grumpy and emo getting up and not hearing from him by the allotted time, but i started my day anyway, have a fantastic egg salad sandwich and headed to tucker to pick up the accident report from the other week. in route he contacts me and says we can meet up after I'm done. so we meet at the noddle shop in VH. it was hard as hell to start talking but much easier to remember what needed to be said once we started. I admitted the truth to him and though i am sure it was nothing he wanted confirmed i feel being honest even though it hurts us both was a good step for me. he asks me the right questions most of the time. and i was able to get some of the hurt off my chest. I have a lot of work ahead of me to get my self to a good place and to be happy with me but it felt good to know that he supports me in my journey even if it is from afar.  so now i have some things to figure out, what brought me to this point? why do i so desperately need attention? what is it about me that i see as inferior? so on Wednesday i see the shrinko and i can start working on all of this. I am hopeful that someday i may be better. He makes me want to be a better person.

Goals
-like myself
-get in shape
-find a career
-learn how to budget
-quit smoking
-get a degree
there are more i am sure and i will revisit this list i am concentrating on the first three for now then i will add on