Disclaimer: This is more for me than for you/ I am not a particularly great writer or even very good. My Spelling is at best atrocious, I routinely bring spell check to its knees. This is also not happy, I have to search my soul and fix myself and I am writing it down to document my journey for myself. If you choose to read that is wonderful but it is not my intent. So with that said keep reading or don't. I am here for me.
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Blog One
I have been brought to this point through my own actions, and it is only my actions that can rectify the situation. I am a Lier. I have lied to my friends, my family, my love, and myself. This has to change. In the words of my mother my self image does not match my reality. In my head I am fat, stupid, unintresting and a loser. So I lie. I am sure I have done it all my life but some of the strongest examples the furthest back I can think of were in Highschool. I met another lier there, and her lies made her intresting, made us friends actually. My first real boyfriend was gained in a lie, one that my friend had helped me to create. I am sure many more lies helped me to keep him for a year. When ever I was sad or upset or just bored I would make up a story that portraited me as smart, intresting, exciting, or perhaps cast me in the role of tragic heroine. I am not sure how but it made me feel better and it got engulfed into my modis oparadis. I have to stop, I am intresting, I am smart and I do not have to lie to have friends. I can be happy being me.
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