I cant sleep. Last week i slept great between 8 and 9 hours a night work up early enough to eat breakfast, not be rushed, have a nice morning. Last night I tossed and turned, and well now, now it is 1:30 in the morning and im not tired. I worked from 9:30 untill 7:30 and im not tired. All day i felt frustrated, and franic and bored. I can tell that i want to slip back into old habits, that i want to just blow off the gym, forget my diet, not post on the blog, and curl up in bed and hermit. This is the first test of will power i have had and it comes entirely from myself. I went to yoga tonight and afterwards i sat in my car and outlined for myself both my saturday and monday workouts, sunday is cardio. I am posting on the blog, my diet however, did suffer, i broke down and got a Little debbie this afternoon, and a cookie, but at least i am being honest with myself and the world wide web. Change is hard and it isnt coming easy. I meet with the shrink on wednesday, she would most likely be offended by the term but that is what i have now. I dont expect miracles but i need to make me better. cause i am not really liking myself right now, or even who i have been in the past. I want to like me, I want to be the person i should be instead of letting life rush past me and makeing up stories about it.
Side note: I dont like this bed :-(
No comments:
Post a Comment